rough

ive been thinking. for some reason, its like wen things are goin fine... sumthn in me forces me to eff it up and be angry/annoyed/bitchy and the like. its happened thurs, fri and today. its killin me. this type of behavior always seems to strain my relationships. i dont know how to stop. its like i know things arent that serious but im compelled to make them more than they are. i have a problem. lady gaga had it right "u got me wonderin why i.. i like it rough" even tho shes talking about sex. im pretty sure. maybe some other stuff too but thats beside my point.

if only i could force myself to be happy instead or atleast just ok. im gonna go cry angry tears. argh.